sometimes i just wonder how i got here? how did i get so alienated by some people that i don’t have them as friends anymore. i have this one “friend” who owes me money she has for over a year. sunday i asked if i could get my money anytime soon she says yeah come to church tonight i say well i don’t have a way to get there duh cause cars and lisences don’t grow on trees. she says nothing even later when i ask her why i have to go to church to get the money she owes me? i mean i have a church i went to it. i don’t think i have to go to a different one to get what is owed to me. it just frustrates me a lot.
i also don’t know how my friends became not my friends. its just baffling to me.
another situation i cannot talk about its super baffling to me. oh bother haha.
in other news my dads surgery went well. christmas was interesting.
my bff is pretty amazing. but at the same time i just wonder how i got here. i’m frustrated with church i just don’t want to do the schedule anymore cause its just causing grief. i need to get my license i just need to take the test but ugh i dunno i need to practice more but maybe i don’t maybe i’m ready who knows really. i need a job so i don’t feel like such a failure at life but i already do cause i can’t get a job but i haven’t tried in awhile. but even so.
i also need to go tot he doctor to get myself checked out. and i need to lose weight ugh oh bother. my head hurts just thinking about it. but i’m thankful that i have my bff cause if i didn’t i’d be in sorry sorry shape. and i know i sound super blah and rawrish right now but really i have been a lot happier which is sorta scary at the same time. a lot of things scare me but just gotta roll with it i suppose.
i want to go on an adventure. i’m not sure how i can get to that point of adventureness but i want it.
i will just read my fifty million books. ugh. haha i love books but this one is so long and i need to read three other ones from the library and then read the ones i’m supposed to review. i shall get on that then. until next time.