what an emotionally taxing weekend.

i have not written in awhile but i’ve been super busy.

at the beginning of the month i starting watching a little girl named Callie. on Tuesdays and Thursdays so that has been fun i love it! and i get paid for doing something i love! so that is awesome. and hopefully these other two people I’ve been talking to for nannying will all work out.

my car is hopefully almost fixed though i had a super huge breakdown of how much it has costed and will continue to cost so i had to crunch numbers in a panic. oi. but yeah hopefully soon i’ll have it.

lets see what else has happened. first weekend of august we went to seafair. it is this yearly event in seattle. with hydroplane races and air shows and stuff. it rained almost the entire day it was pretty annoying but we had fun regardless. i love the freebies haha we’d go to that area and spin the wheels at the booths and win prizes it was awesome. i got lots of stuff to put in my car. like reusable bags and other stuff.

things with the boy are good, we have a lack of time issue though i am not so fond of it haha. i just want more time and stuff but we are good. he bought me clothes the other day that was fun/cute. he is so amazing to me and i don’t deserve him at all. we do have minor fights but we recover quickly and for that i’m grateful cause i HATE fighting with him. its not the best feeling to be fighting with your best friend. i love that boy to no end.

i’ve been doing a lot of reading so thats good. um i don’t know what else has been going on. i finally got some zucchinis in my garden and my new current obsession is zucchini bread. i also have an obsession with apple sauce.

now for my emotionally taxing weekend. friday my auntie passed away and i thought she would make it she’d  been having a lot of problems lately but she pulled through normally. but her body just couldn’t fight anymore. she was 89 she lived a great life but she is missed sorely. especially by all the family who didn’t get to spend much time with her. it was and is very sad. 

my aunt judy had planned herself a party at my grandmas house without telling grandma til a few days before so that was kinda weird. but all of us were there. but it was the day after my aunties passing so we were all kinda sad. but also now my other aunt and uncle who got to spend the most time with her are now talking about the land and her stuff. and what our cousin bob (who  is the excuter of the estate) will be doing. they don’t know but my auntie was a smart lady I’m sure she knew that my aunt and uncle would be like that. she knew that they wanted her land. i guess time will tell what will happen but i trust bob and Melanie they are amazing believers and they will do what auntie Beth wanted. my aunt and uncle just want whats for them they are selfish people and they know it. they spend money they don’t have on frivolous things.

but also its like they wouldn’t stop talking about all of this. all of julies account of what happened with auntie beth. and some of us don’t want to hear it. my mom got up and left when julie was talking. but its like ugh julie spoke for the entire family and my cousins weren’t told at all when any of this was happening. just when auntie had passed and its not right. julie can’t speak for the whole family. its just a crappy thing. and so there was an uproar about it. which is kinda deserved. but my cousin heidi had asked julie to not talk about this. we shouldn’t be talking about it. i mean its done and over and whats the point of going on about what you did and blahblahblah. especially when the loss is so fresh and we are annoyed, mad and super sad. but julie ignored heidi and so we kinda left to the house to get away from her and to get food. it was just a crappy thing to do. you aren’t the ultimate authority. and even when i went to get food my uncle and grandpa were talkin mostly my uncle and he was talking about it too. and about bob and i just think its super unnecessary.

the only upside to saturday was holding my cousins baby. heidi her and i are super alike we are pretty much twins. so i got to hold her 7 week baby josiah and he is great. i love him. i got him to fall asleep on me. so i just tuned a lot out and focused on teh new life that was in my hands and it was much better that way. but i dunno its just a crappy situation.

yesterday it was SOOOOOOOO hot and i was cranky and i just haven’t been in the best mental state with all of that family stuff. but we were SO late to church and haha oh well. and i was service lead for the second service i didn’t know for sure if i was or not until i was there. and that was SO chaotic. first we only started out with 4 volunteers for the whole service. and that won’t work but thankfully we worked it out and were totally cool with it. but check in was dicey for awhile cause only one puter works and then my friend sherlyn came to help me and it was super appreciated. it all worked out. but then the day went crappy. the boy and i went to lunch which was good but then he had to do his homework and it was SO hot so it was boring and i never did get to spend time with him which made me so sad. i was trying to cool down. and hopefully today will be better.

i just miss him and its so crazy life has been crazy. i am hopeful for this week hopefully i’ll get those nanny jobs for sure and if not one then the other. i just worry about being too exhausted with one cause its like two boys and they are super active and i don’t have that great of an energy level i mean it is WAY better than before since i’ve been taking this thyroid med. but still its not where it could be for boys. so we’ll see how that will go. i’m almost hoping it doesn’t work well and the other one will work a lot better so we’ll see. but my neighbor ugh she is trying to get me to watch her kid and basically doesn’t think i’m worth 12 an hour so i said forget you in not so many words haha. i just i dunno shes so flakey and i don’t want to deal with that. i was already talking to these other people anyways.

so thats whats going on with me. a lot i guess. haha. now i[‘ve got to read this book to write a review. good times!

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