personal

i just feel numb..

I don’t talk a lot and i’m just alone most of the time. I’m sad and discouraged and thats just how it is. Im beaten down a lot it seems. A lot has been going on a lot of it is bad. Some is good but sometimes its hard to see that through the bad stuff. I’m not reading books fast enough, I’m just not good enough period. Thats how I feel. I feel like a complete failure in most aspects of my life. I start with good intentions but in the end its never good enough. I wanted to start to read the bible, i’ve never really done it, I grew up in church but honestly i’ve never really read chapters upon chapters and I probably haven’t even read 1/8 of the bible. So the boy and I started a group on facebook. But now i’m way too intimidated by it and don’t want to do it anymore. We haven’t even gotten it off the ground. I just have nothing to say I don’t have very many opinions. Everyone else knows way more tehn I do and what do I have to bring to the table? Nothing. I don’t have friends if I talk to people its two or three people but honestly I haven’t really talked to them in weeks and one of them I haven’t talked to in months. I dunno I feel like a lost cause. And while this is all happening my blog is empty but it doesn’t really matter. Not much does anymore. At least thats how i feel.

9 thoughts on “i just feel numb..

  1. Just bring YOU. be honest. Say that you are learning. . .we should all be so willing to learn and grow. How has God been working in YOUR life? Open your Bible and read some of it and say how God has revealed HIMSELF to YOU alone, not what you ultimately think such and such verse means and debate who knows more. I used to be that way and it ruined me. I had to back away and realize that I honestly don't know much but that God had to teach me through life and His Word in general. Do not belittle yourself, for you are extremely valuable.

  2. I just found your blog through the hop through Sippy Cups and Pearls.

    I am so sorry you were feeling this way. Remember that God uses everyday people. Just position yourself to the Lord and he will user you. He just wants a willing heart. Everyone had a story to be told. I do not know much about the Bible but i love learning alongside someone. Do not give up and know that God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things. (:

    Newest follower.

  3. We are never a failure…God made us, how could we be? I think it's important to learn the word of God in the Bible, because it provides us a source of internal strength to draw from whenever we might need it, and if you read a little each day, it helps a lot. No big goals, just a bit each day. I do mine in the morning.

    On another note, you sounded happy in the Scrabble post I just read, so I hope you're feeling happy now. 🙂

  4. I have just found your blog, and I am really enjoying reading through it! You do a great job! I hate to hear you have been so down. You may feel things about yourself, but others are not looking at you like that! As far as the Bible goes, it has helped me to get a devotional bible, and that helps to focus on one day at a time though a daily devotional. Just remember God gives us the strength to get through one day at a time, so don't overwhelm yourself. Keep your chin up and be positive! You are so worth it!

  5. I wish I had the gift of encouragement…because if I did I would encourage the heck out of you! I don't though! But if I could take your insecurities and kick them in the butt I would because it sounds like they are getting in the way of something that sounds pretty cool.

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