Today i am featuring the newest CD by Tori Kelly. Upon first look the album cover is nice and sleek looking. the album seems kind of short in my opinion, but that’s not really a deal breaker. Not really being familiar with Tori Kelly at all its sort of hard to judge it. When listening to it for the first time her voice is nice, but it just didn’t “wow” me as much as some albums by other artists have. to be perfectly honest  most of it just made me zone out or push to the next song right away. nothing about her, maybe its the type of feel the songs had but it just wasn’t my thing.

i was provided a copy of this cd for free in exchange for my review, i wasn’t compensated in any way

Welcome to the blog tour and giveaway for The Accidental Guardian by Mary Connealy, hosted by JustRead Publicity Tours!

ABOUT THE BOOK

Title: The Accidental Guardian Series: High Sierra Sweethearts, Book 1 Author: Mary Connealy Publisher: Bethany House Publishers Release Date: April 3, 2018 Genre: Historical Romance / Western +To Read: Goodreads She’s the Only Witness to a Wagon Train Attack. Keeping Her Safe, Though, Means His World Is about to be Turned Upside Down. When Trace Riley finds the smoldering ruins of a small wagon train, he recognizes an attack by the same group who left him as sole survivor years ago. Living off the wilderness since then, he’s finally carved out a home and started a herd–while serving as a self-appointed guardian of the trail. He’d hoped the days of driving off dangerous men were over, but the latest attack shows otherwise. Deborah Harkness saved her younger sister and two toddlers during the attack, and now finds herself at the mercy of her rescuer. Trace becomes an accidental guardian when he offers the only shelter for miles around and agrees to take them in until they can safely continue their journey. His simple bachelor existence never anticipated kids and women in the picture and their arrival is unsettling–yet enticing.
Trace and Deborah find themselves drawing ever closer as they work together to bring justice to the trail and help the group survive the winter–but every day closer to spring means a day closer to leaving the mountains forever.

My Thoughts:

Never having read a book by this author before, i wasn’t sure what would i would think or feel or really anything. unfortunately for me it just didn’t grab me at all. it was just one of those type of situations where you just don’t connect to a story and it isn’t something you can keep going on with. so that was a big bummer for me, but it’s just not possible for me to connect to every single book i read. hopefully everyone else doesn’t have that issue like i did.

i was provided a copy of this book for free in exchange for my review, i wasn’t compensated in any way

The next book in the series, THE RELUCTANT WARRIOR will be released later this year in October, 2018!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mary Connealy writes “romantic comedies with cowboys” and is celebrated for her fun, zany, action-packed style. She has more than half a million books in print. She is the author of the popular series Wild at Heart, Kincaid Brides, Trouble in Texas, Lassoed in Texas, Sophie’s Daughters, and many other books. Mary lives on a ranch in eastern Nebraska with her very own romantic cowboy hero. CONNECT WITH MARY: website, facebook, twitter, instagram

GIVEAWAY

(1) Winner will win:

For the full tour schedule for more giveaway entries, head to JustRead’s Launch Page HERE (or click on the Tour Banner below). *NOTE: This post contains affiliate links.

Grief it’s one of those words that you don’t think about much. when something happens to other people you would say “oh i know how you feel” or “i know what you’re going through, sorry for your loss.” you can be sad for people but really do you know what it feels like? i’ve experienced losses but the deaths i experienced weren’t really close to me i guess you could say, though some did happen as i got older but it was more of a “i’m detached from this” kind of situation.

back in october that’s when it all went south….

our dog had been super sick, she would have reverse sneezing, would have snot coming out at any time and sometimes she was miserable, not that often though. she was doing alright. until one point where she had a couple really bad nosebleeds. we were so scared we’d lose her.  after sometime the vet said she was okay. but two days later she had some bad nosebleeds again. we got it to stop a little and it was as okay as it could have been til the next morning. the next morning i went on an errand and came back to blood everywhere, my parents rushing around trying to get her to the car. but she wouldn’t move and she was basically lifeless. it was so fast and so traumatic and so depressing. should i have gone to the vet? should i have stayed with her?  those questions still pop in my mind.  when i saw her next she was unconscious on pain meds and we had to put her down. she lost most of her volume of blood in her body in such a short period of time. and there just wasn’t anything that could be done. so we cried and cried and cried some more. and we put her down to end her suffering. we stayed with her and literally it was the hardest thing i’ve done. she was gone really quick. but that hole is still very deep and very raw. it was the worst and hardest thing i’ve ever dealt with. they were very positive that she had a tumor in her nasal passage. and there wasn’t anything to be done. it is hard and that’s all i can say. the pain inside is still so very present and you would think “sure october is a long time” well its still fresh and it still makes me cry, not daily anymore but its still way too hard to deal with.

its very hard to process, especially when you are so used to having that sweet girl greet you at the door, or making sure you don’t trip over her in the hallway. you glance and think that you see her, or think you hear her and shes just not there. and its devastating.

one event of grief is enough to last a while.  yet that’s not how life goes. my grandpa hadn’t been doing well for a long time. in the beginning of october he had to be in the hospital as he was doing REALLY bad. and at one point they weren’t sure he would come out. he did fight and made it home. but it was in hospice care. so we all knew it was only a matter of time. some of the comments my mom said that he had said were very heart breaking. personally i couldn’t go see him like that. he wasn’t himself and he looked horrible and i didn’t want to see a dying man and have that in my eternal memory. after what i went through with the blood and the lifeless dog body in my brain i didn’t feel i needed to see a dying man. and i was and am still confident in my decision. it was just WAY too much for me. he passed two weeks after our dog.

now i wasn’t really super close to my grandparents, it’s just not how my family is. but i was very sad, and still am. the funeral i was doing so good until that casket came out. it was almost like “is this real life?” we are all making it. its still something you cry about though.

those two situations are still present and they still come up. my neighbors dog who we watch sometimes isn’t doing well so there is that reminder. and then my other neighbors grandma just passed two days ago. on my neighbors birthday. Grief is just ever present in this season of life.

i just wish things were easier right now.  one interesting thing though. my grandpa died on the same date that his mother and aunt died 24 years earlier.

just trying to grasp the good moments and times right now. and trying to get past the pain.

You can’t add a single day by worrying / You’ll worry your life away / Oh don’t worry your life away / You can’t change a single thing by freaking out / It’s just gonna close you in / Oh don’t let the trouble win

these months have been hard, full of worry, anxiety, pain and sorrow. its hard to know how to even make it out of the hole or even realize that you aren’t in the hole anymore.

You may feel alone / But you’re not on your own / If He can hold the world / He can hold this moment / Not a field or flower escapes His notice / Oh even the sparrow / Knows He holds tomorrow

its also hard to know you aren’t alone, there aren’t a lot of people who stick around in lives these days. it seems like its the hardest to keep relationships to nurture them and just be. a lot of people aren’t longing for relationships which seems strange to me. I’ve always loved having friends though never had that many at once i poured all i had into the ones i have had. and when its not reciprocated then i pull away. what use is there for me to keep nurturing something that someone isn’t interested in? none so i just don’t bother. that leaves me alone a lot. which is sad but its just how life is.

Lean in and it’s hard to miss / Everything can change / When you make it His / Oh He wants to carry it / Carefree in the care of God / When you let it go / You’ll find that He’s enough / Oh you never leave His love / You don’t walk alone

that is when you lean into the people you have that are there for always and ultimately into Jesus. He is the one that won’t let you down and sometimes it is hard to really feel like that He is there all the time.

in april i lost the nanny job i had for over 2 years. i’m still sad about it sometimes. but there is a reason for that happening. their family life was a little crazy and it was starting to affect me in not so good ways. i had my own crap going on also.  physically i was depressed, not feeling good had some digestive things going on (still sorta do) and just in general not happy.

in may i got rear-ended on a weekend getaway with my husband. that was a huge bummer and i’m still irritated about it. i still hurt from it. but the massages and chiropractic adjustments are helping.

during the summer in july my husband and i were on a vacation for 3 weeks. we went to see both sides of his family in 3 different states! it was so much fun! i loved every minute of it. except for the time i had to go to urgent care for a horrible ear/sinus infection that kinda sucked but after i got some meds to help it,  it was good. we were in Tulsa, Ok for 1 1/2 weeks and then in Wellsboro, Pa for the rest. we did travel to NYC for 3 days and went on a day trip to Niagara falls.  it was glorious i loved it. i was really bummed i didn’t have more time in NYC though. my husbands brother has moved there so we got there the day he got there that was a great time of connection and memories.

family is important and we don’t connect as much as we should with family. its really sad but at the same time it makes the times we do connect a lot more special. i just wish we were closer to most of the family.

If He can hold the world / He can hold this moment / Not a field or flower escapes His notice / Oh even the sparrow / Knows He holds tomorrow / There’s not a single star that’s out of place / There’s nothing broken He can’t remake / If you long for hope when you’re afraid / Oh look at the sparrow / Look at the sparrow / If He can hold the world / He can hold this moment / Not a field or flower escapes His notice / Oh even the sparrow / Knows He holds tomorrow / Even the sparrow knows He holds tomorrow

i’m not sure where life will take us. but currently being in Seattle i know i’m not meant to stay here for my whole life. i never used to believe i’d ever live anywhere else than Seattle. but every time i come back after leaving for a bit i realize i don’t belong here. i long for the country, a farmhouse, goats, and a bunch of dogs. i long for the day where i don’t feel crowded in a city and where i have a lot of openness around me and i can just sit, breathe and take it all in.

i have no idea where that means or what will happen but i’m excited for a journey.

where do i begin? life is just a hot hot mess.

everything and anything is going wrong all at once. but in the midst i’m back into finding myself.

i’ve decided to blog again, i’ve started to read more and i’ve discovered a love for a paper planner/stamping in it! i’m so excited to journey through life like this and i’m SO excited to blog again. and reading is literally so awesome.

i’ve been doing a lot of crocheting lately i’ll share some pictures later on.

but other than that there have been family injuries, car wrecks, cancer, just plain drama and other health crisis’. such a mess. but we’ll get through it and we always do.

i just lost my nanny job of two years so i’m trying to pick up all the pieces, life wise and health wise. i will get through and i’m just so blessed in other ways so it will carry me through.

i’m not sure if anyone else reads this anymore or is subscribed but i’m happy to have you!!

until later!